Welcome to Sex and the Cite, which exists to help you understand that female sexual pleasure is self-care and to help you experience more sexual enjoyment and more sexual confidence, as well as improve your mental and physical wellbeing. On Wednesdays, I release a new feature in which I cite, and then respond to, something that has been said about female sexuality: this could be a quotation which I have taken from a sex podcast, a book, a sexfluencer, Sex and the City— from anywhere— or it could even be one of your questions which you have sent in to me. As we progress throughout the weeks, you will learn tips and knowledge that can help you with experiencing more sexual pleasure, confidence, self-love, and wellbeing.
In Episode 13 of the Call her Daddy podcast— 'Let it Snow... it's Time for a Facial'— hostess Alex Cooper says,
'This week, we’re just gonna get right into it and talk about facials. […] What kind of facial do you think the Call her Daddy girls are talking about? A facial you get at a spa? Or a facial where a guy [cums] all over your face? […] So, I heard […] facials […] are good for your skin.’
She proceeds with reading out a screenshot she took from Medical Daily:
‘it says […], it sounds like we’re about to do an add for facials… “Sperm, a crystalline, polyamine compound called spermine is an anti- oxidant and it diminishes wrinkles, smooths the skin, helps tame and prevent acne and can also be used”, this one gets me, “as an anti-depressant”’.
Former co-hostess, Sofia Franklyn, responds: ‘I just don’t buy it, I mean that Medical Daily article? Let me guess a man wrote that article.’ Alex replies,
‘Ok, but think about this… if it is true how many girls are about to […] get facials from a guy and instead of quickly running and getting the towel, they’re gonna be like, “Ok, hold on” and they’re gonna start massaging the cum into their face: […] “can you put a little bit more on my forehead?”’
Sofia asserts that this type of girl ‘is a different [kind of] cum savage who cares about her skin routine and she rubs it in’.
I firstly want to clarify that Call her Daddy is a sex and comedy podcast: so when Alex and Sofia are talking about girls ‘massaging cum into their faces’ being ‘good for [their] skin’, their intention is not to offer scientifically-approved sex tips but to sexually empower and entertain people. So, (just like with these facials themselves), we have to take what the girls are saying about the benefits of this type of facial with a pinch of salt.
Yes, spermine— an antioxidant found in semen— has been used to constitute spa products for people that enjoy both ‘a facial you get at a spa’ as well as a facial which involves semen being ‘all over your face’. (New York’s Graceful Services spa once offered a spermine facial that was advertised as a method to activate ‘collagen production, heal skin, and calm redness’.) However, the spermine that constitutes facials or products that have been made available at spas has been synthesized in laboratories (it is artificial/ not taken straight from a dick) and has usually been interpenetrated with additional ingredients that are certified as being beneficial for your skin. (For example, the ingredients of the spermine facial offered by New York’s Graceful Services spa included rosehip seed oil, jojoba oil, as well as vitamins E and B-5.)
When it comes to semen, there isn’t sufficient scientific proof to support claims that rubbing it into your face is an effective skincare routine.
Obviously depending on your skin, it can— as with most things— sometimes act as a skin irritant or cause skin allergies: just as everyone’s skin reacts differently to different skincare products. Also— before you start testing out semen facials on your skin with anyone you’re sexually attracted to and asking them, ‘“can you put a little bit more on my forehead?”’— it is important to be aware that this type of facial can also transmit STIs.
With that said, whilst there may not be any proven truth that these facials benefit your skin, ‘if it is true’, as Alex puts it— and if it does feel moisturising (and is not an irritant) for your skin and if you enjoy getting this type of facial, and you are experiencing it with someone who you are sexually attracted to, who you trust, and who you know does not have an STI— then why not ‘start massaging [their] cum’ into your face and asking them to ‘“put a little bit more”’ on your cheeks or wherever? You keep enjoying facial after facial because, in addition to this sexual activity acting as a potential skin supplement, the sexual enjoyment you can get out of this activity, in and of itself, can boost your sexual confidence, happiness, and general sense of wellbeing for your mind and body.
Although, when it comes to the enjoyment of facials which can be incorporated into our skincare routines, we obviously don’t need to rely on the dick to get our facials in. It may be the case that you didn’t get the facial that you wanted on Valentine’s Day: whether or not that was ‘a facial you get at a Spa’ or one that involves ‘massaging the cum’ of the person you enjoy being sexual with ‘all over your face’. Maybe you sexually enjoy men but you don’t enjoy them ejaculating onto your face. Or, maybe you don’t sexually enjoy men or a dick and its ejaculation onto your face full stop. No matter what your sexuality is, I will introduce you to an enjoyable facial which is proven to be ‘good for your skin’ and which you can implement by yourself, and for yourself, every day (not just on Valentine’s Day), as part of your skincare and self-care routine: because self-love is universally enjoyable.
If you’ve never heard of a facial workout, sit your face in front of KeiSei Magazine, press play on the ‘Gua Sha Facial Work Out with NieveSkincare’ IGTV, and mirror the hand-movements of skincare nurse and founder of NieveSkincare, Nieves Sevilla, as she practically, and orally, guides you through the original and invigorating sculptural and glow system that she has innovated: a 15-minute facial workout routine, incorporating a Gua Sha Stone which can be used to focus on sculpting, toning, and glowing the face in a non-invasive way.
Along with your face, all you need is:
— a hairband or headband to keep your hair out of the way
— face mist
— facial oil
(I highly recommend The Ordinary skincare company for very affordable, high-quality, skin-nourishing face oil, which is also aesthetically-packaged in a bottle with a pipette that makes you feel like you’re in a high-end laboratory when you’re just in your bathroom.)
— and any Gua Sha stone will work (out) your face.
‘Where the fuck can I buy a Gua Sha stone?’ You can buy very affordable, effective, and aesthetic rose-quartz Gua Sha stones and sets on Amazon. The beautiful and effectively designed Gua Sha stone used in the IGTV is also coming soon to NieveSkincare…
Whilst watching the IGTV, you are advised by Nieves to take three deep breathes and to set out an intention which, for this video (as with this article), is
You will be spritzing face mist onto your face and neck to tone your skin. You will be prepping your skin with facial oil by applying it to the face and neck and rubbing it in: this allows the Gua Sha stone to easily glide over the face. (Always wash your hands before: rubbing oil into your face with unclean hands can result in spots.)
You will be doing all kinds of slow, circular, and tapping motions with your finger tips on the back and front of the neck and along the jawline, as well as pumping movements on the collarbones and forehead: all of which activate the lymphatic system to promote both the drainage of toxins and blood circulation activation. When its time to grab your Gua Sha stone, you will be gliding it over the face in slow, long movements, as well as implementing fast, short strokes of active movement, and applying (mild) pressure to pressure points, to release tension, whilst focusing on the areas of the cheeks, nose, above the eyebrows, temples, jawline, neck, and the orbital zones of the eyes. Nieves reassures us that we can
‘move the Gua Sha in a comfortable way: don’t be obsessed with the angle of the Gua Sha stone: it is better to be comfortable’.
She also informs us that ‘the main benefit’ of this facial
‘is that you will start improving your blood circulation and that will promote new collagen formation, will improve the skin texture and overall appearance and, at the same time, you will produce [plumpness] which will result in a more defined face, so there’s so many benefits. […] I always recommend my patients to introduce this practice in their daily routine.’
Whilst Nieves recommends doing this facial workout on a daily basis, for at least one month, to start seeing noticeable results, she also reassures us that, even after one session, you can already see an improvement in the plumpness of your skin and in your skin tone because your blood flow will be increased and that will be visible. So, in response to the Call her Daddy episode title, ‘Let it Snow… it’s Time for a Facial’, you can give yourself another type of facial, in the bedroom, that gives you blushed cheeks which signify/ look like the oxygenated glow that is induced by walking in cold, fresh air whilst actual snow is falling onto your face (all from within the bedroom and without the penetration of injections and pills).
Being a skincare activity at the same time as an act of self-care and self-love, this facial is therefore beneficial not only for the tone and plumpness of your skin but, also, for your general mental and physical wellbeing. You may be thinking, ‘yes, but how the hell does this type of facial relate to my sexual enjoyment, sexual confidence, and sexual wellbeing?’ Well, if we are serious about wanting to promote all of these things, we need to first start with promoting and practising self-love.
It could have been very easy for me to start off Sex and the Cite with talking about tips on sexual activities like sucking dick in the lead up to a semen facial, or tips on giving your sexual partner a facial which involves sitting on their face and so on (and sexual tips like these will, of course, be coming later on). But, I wanted to start off Sex and the Cite by giving you a tip on an activity that signifies self-love and self-care. Because we can only ever begin to promote— and experience the full benefits of— sexual pleasure, sexual confidence, and sexual wellbeing when we, first, have self-love: an incredibly effective stimulant for maximising your experience of all these things. We cannot even begin to feel sexually confident (whether that is during sexual experiences with ourselves or with others) if we do not feel self-confident or self-love to begin with.
No, I’m not saying that the act of rubbing your face with a stone is, by itself, suddenly going to, that day, make you feel more sexually confident...
What I am saying is that this Gua Sha facial is just one example of an activity that you can incorporate into your self-care routine alongside other activities which are pleasurable for you, which make you feel happy and self-confident, and which prioritise your self-care as well as mental and physical wellbeing. These activities will all work towards stimulating and promoting your feelings of self-love, self-confidence, and general wellbeing: feelings which will then filter into, and improve, your sexual experiences.
Although, if you do want to make this self-love tip more sexually enjoyable and arousing, in and of itself, why not implement slow, circular, and tapping motions with your finger tips not only on the zones of your face, ears, and the back and front of your neck— to stimulate blood flow and collagen activation— but also on different erogenous zones, which exist all over your body, to stimulate sexually arousing and pleasurable sensations?
The word, ‘erogenous’, originates from the Greek word ‘eros’— which can be defined as erotic love/desire/arousal— and from the English (combining) word ‘-genous’, which means producing. So, erogenous zones of the body are areas which, when stimulated in pleasurable ways, can produce sexual arousal, pleasure, and orgasm. Some of you may be surprised to learn that the vagina, clitoris, and tits are not the only female erotogenic zones: there are erotogenic zones all over the body.
Additional primary erogenous zones include the ears, cheeks, mouth (including lips and tongue), neck (front and back), shoulders (front and back), waist, navel, base of spine, hands, inner thighs, back of the knees, and soles of the feet. So, considering that erogenous zones include the cheeks, ears, the back and front of your neck, and your shoulders— and obviously depending on which zones you personally get pleasure and arousal out of stimulating— you can incorporate this self-love Gua Sha facial tip not only into your skincare routine but also into your auto-erotic/ masturbation routine. Maybe you can start with stimulating your cheeks, ears, the back and front of your neck, and your shoulders and then continue to use your fingertips/ the Gua Sha stone to gently stimulate other erotogenic zones of your body— by very lightly and gently stroking, for example, the soles of your feet, or your clitoris, or your labia with your fingertips/ the Gua Sha stone— as part of a self-love and self-pleasure practice. Some of you may even experience pleasurable sensations in your genitalia when you are stroking the soles of your feet because there is a neurological connection between the feet and the pussy, which I will talk to you about another (Wednes)day...
If there is one thing that you can take away from this article, it would be: the relationship that you have with yourself is the most important one that you will experience in your life.
I’m coming back on Wednesday with tips on self-pleasure and masturbation techniques…
In the meantime, you can continue to build your sexual repertoire within my Community Space on Diem: The Female Sex (Education).
Sex and the Cite is written by female sexual pleasure activist, Isabella Rooke-Ley, who holds a Master's Degree in Gender, Sexuality, and Culture.